It is common in relationships, and in the
workplace to be confronted with conflict situations. Even though conflict is
viewed negatively in our society, it is commonplace for people who are in
contact with one another. The news media captures conflict and uses it as
priority in reporting conflict events that occur in your neighborhoods and even
around the globe. Although there are
several explanations of conflict and how it arises among us, what is it really
meant to describe? “What is conflict?” It is defined as a state or condition of
opposition, a struggle to resist or overcome.
As Alessandra (1993) describes, it is a clash of perceptions, goals, or values in an arena where people care about the outcome. A conflict can even be with one’s self, their ideas, or interest. Each situation in conflict and its resolutions are different. As in relationships a whole new set if definitions can be relevant. Wilmot and Joyce Hocker (2006) provide a thorough definition of conflict. They state that, “conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scare reward, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals” (pg.334) here are behavior and patterns of behavior that can contribute to conflict, especially interpersonal ones.
As Alessandra (1993) describes, it is a clash of perceptions, goals, or values in an arena where people care about the outcome. A conflict can even be with one’s self, their ideas, or interest. Each situation in conflict and its resolutions are different. As in relationships a whole new set if definitions can be relevant. Wilmot and Joyce Hocker (2006) provide a thorough definition of conflict. They state that, “conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scare reward, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals” (pg.334) here are behavior and patterns of behavior that can contribute to conflict, especially interpersonal ones.
Why does conflict occur?
Just
as a verbal argument can occur between two individuals, there differences in
opinion can escalate into something more serious without each party knowing how
to effectively manage their feelings and emotions. When conflict is mismanaged, it can harm the relationship,
weather personal or professionally. In the workplace, the communication
climate, which refers to the social tone of a relationship, may be one to
induce conflict among workers and even businesses. When people or businesses do
not feel good about one another. It may be the way they carry out workplace activities or their
business practices that causes internal and external struggles. All conflicts
look as if one person’s gain would be another’s loss. I know on my job there
are several of us who do like a certain supervisor. It is common for all of us to
oppose any new project, she implements that will make what we do more
efficient. This behavior causes ongoing conflict because of the way we feel
about her.
Conflict arises from differences and even
in these cases personalities can cause conflict. People general behave in
different ways, depending on the type of conflict. Each option leads to a
particular combination of outcomes: lose-lose, lose-win, win-lose or win-win
(Abigail & Cahn 2007). I know
in a win-win conflict situation, the goal is to find a solution that satisfies
the needs of everyone involved. (Adler, Rosenfeld, & Proctor 2007) I know I
practically don’t like conflict but if I am in some type of challenge with
something or someone. I believe that with my personality I would find it difficult
to resolve a conflict without some type of compromise, or as the last result
just accommodating that situation or the person just for a quick result.
I personally like to leave a conflict with everyone involved leaving at least
getting some satisfaction, but it does not always work out that way. After
reading the results that determined that my personality was one of the
individualists. It would explain why feeling vulnerable and defective can lead
me into the accommodating rather than compromising to resolve a conflict.
Positive and Negative
effects of conflicts
According to Robinson (1972) “Not all
conflict is bad and not all cooperation is good.” As people view conflict negatively, it can work out for the
good as it does in group or team situations with in the workplace. There can be
healthy responses to conflict oppose to unhealthy ones. Although conflicts tend
to trigger strong emotions and can often lead to disappointments, hurt feelings
and discomfort. It can be a motivated that helps to achieve positive results,
improve the quality of. Conflict can be productive in relationships as well as
in the workplace. In the workplace, applying the S-TLC, stop, think, listen and
then communicate can decrease escalation of the conflict, leading to a more position
results, improvement of work quality. It has in proven on my job that conflict
resolution can be achieved as a group effort and not just one person demanding
results for a task. When everyone gets involved, there are positive results.
On the other hand, there are some
negative consequences that can could result from conflicts and its lack of
resolution. Communication and understanding is the key. Individuals or groups
that think that their way of thinking and doing things is the only way can cause
a negative impact on the other person or the group by excluding their ideas and
opinions. It easily means a change in goals without a consensus. In
interpersonal relationships, blaming, name calling, in which to escalate to
verbal abuse, and even physical abuse without utilizing some conflict
resolution skills. One of the most recognizable negative effects of conflict in
relationships is ineffective communication technique. When you do know how
effectively express your feelings, you won’t be able to resolve conflict. A key
factor to think about prior to a confrontation, is what do you plan to achieve?
When you don’t think, it only leaves room for disaster in conflict and its
resolution. In society, the lack of conflict resolution has resulted in
extremely negative outcomes when people result to physical violence without
thought of the consequence.
Learning how to communicate in conflict situation can turn a negative
into a positive one. In the text, using I-statements when communicating is one
of the last sets of skills that were studied. Effectively communicating your
desires in the way you communicate during a conflict will also affect the other
person.
Abigail & Cahn (2007) demonstrate in the text that it is the most important
skill in conflict, is the ability to use assertive-I-statements that
personalize the conflict by owning up to your feelings rather than playing the
“blame game”. Elizabeth Scott (2009) emphasizes that conflict
in relationships is inevitable. However, poorly handled conflict can have a
heavy negative impact on your relationships and other areas of your life. The
goal is to learn about the negative toll of conflict and find resources for
healthy conflict resolution. I believe that unresolved conflicts can break any
relationship; it would be wise to understand how to better communicate your
wants and needs effectively. Behaving in and non-assertive I would rather avoid
conflict all together. It seems as though I take to passive type and not say
anything until it’s to late and I explode, causing even more conflict. Its not
until I calm down and use some of those I- statements to express my
feelings. It is common that these
things do happen in relationships before there is resolution.
Roles of Personality types
in conflict resolution
After
reading the results that determined that personality was one of the “individualists.
It would explain why feeling vulnerable and defective can lead me into the
accommodating rather than compromising to resolve a conflict. My
personality type communicates assertively. According to the text,
assertive people are effective listeners, which determines how deeply the other
feels about an issue and restate the other’s feeling in their own words.
(Abigail & Cahn p.55) That is definitely my approach when it comes to
communicating through the conflict process. I am normally concerned with
everyone else, feeling before my own; that is why I used accommodating as the most
desired communication option.
After reading further it is clear that collaboration (win-win) would be the best option in conflict resolution. Dr. Tyrone Holmes (2001) states that, “a person should collaborate when you need to gain the commitment and cooperation of others, when both viewpoints are too important to be compromised, when the goal is to assess one’s own viewpoints and/or better understand the perspectives of others, and when you can more effectively solve a problem by merging insights from people with different perspectives. Keep in mind that these circumstances apply to the vast majority of conflicts”. It would be unrealistic to believe that the concerns of others in conflict situations would be as important as your own. It seems to me that can only be successful if the goals are the same.
It is part of conflict without any resolution, when one person or group does not share in the same goals or they perceive a different outcome. I believe that there is going to be some lose-lose conflict situations. For someone like myself, who does not like conflict and if it can be avoided, I would. I sure that walking away without understanding, it is doomed to continue. Avoidance may be effective when the conflict does not need an immediate resolution (T. Holmes. 2001). If the conflict does indeed need an immediate resolution and one would prefer to avoid the resolution to the conflict. A third party may need to become involve, such as a mediator. Sometimes when you are dealing with difficult people rather in a relationship or professionally, it may be best not to engage in discussion that may fuel even more conflict.
After reading further it is clear that collaboration (win-win) would be the best option in conflict resolution. Dr. Tyrone Holmes (2001) states that, “a person should collaborate when you need to gain the commitment and cooperation of others, when both viewpoints are too important to be compromised, when the goal is to assess one’s own viewpoints and/or better understand the perspectives of others, and when you can more effectively solve a problem by merging insights from people with different perspectives. Keep in mind that these circumstances apply to the vast majority of conflicts”. It would be unrealistic to believe that the concerns of others in conflict situations would be as important as your own. It seems to me that can only be successful if the goals are the same.
It is part of conflict without any resolution, when one person or group does not share in the same goals or they perceive a different outcome. I believe that there is going to be some lose-lose conflict situations. For someone like myself, who does not like conflict and if it can be avoided, I would. I sure that walking away without understanding, it is doomed to continue. Avoidance may be effective when the conflict does not need an immediate resolution (T. Holmes. 2001). If the conflict does indeed need an immediate resolution and one would prefer to avoid the resolution to the conflict. A third party may need to become involve, such as a mediator. Sometimes when you are dealing with difficult people rather in a relationship or professionally, it may be best not to engage in discussion that may fuel even more conflict.
Conflict Management
The term conflict
management refers to the long-term management of intractable conflicts. It
labels several ways to handle conflict by addressing differences of opinions
and/or ideals. When you want to solve a problem, it’s good to be assertive, but
there are other reasons for managing conflicts. Sometimes learning how to
listen can be effective in managing conflict. I know on my job I have what is
called, “one call resolution”. When you speaking with a customer over the phone
that has a conflict with the company, my job is to resolve the problem. Most
times I can easily resolve the customer’s issue. As one author explains,
“Communication is the key to managing conflict.”
In the end, as we
look at conflict. What conflict is, and why it occurs. Some of which have
negative outcomes and some positive and life long rewards, through their
conflict resolutions. We can conclude that whenever people come into contact
with one another, whether in relationships or in the workplace. Conflict does
and always will exist.
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