Communication Conflicts

It is common in relationships, and in the workplace to be confronted with conflict situations. Even though conflict is viewed negatively in our society, it is commonplace for people who are in contact with one another. The news media captures conflict and uses it as priority in reporting conflict events that occur in your neighborhoods and even around the globe.  Although there are several explanations of conflict and how it arises among us, what is it really meant to describe? “What is conflict?” It is defined as a state or condition of opposition, a struggle to resist or overcome.                                                             
As Alessandra (1993) describes, it is a clash of perceptions, goals, or values in an arena where people care about the outcome. A conflict can even be with one’s self, their ideas, or interest. Each situation in conflict and its resolutions are different. As in relationships a whole new set if definitions can be relevant. Wilmot and Joyce Hocker (2006) provide a thorough definition of conflict. They state that, “conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scare reward, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals” (pg.334) here are behavior and patterns of behavior that can contribute to conflict, especially interpersonal ones. 

Why does conflict occur?

Just as a verbal argument can occur between two individuals, there differences in opinion can escalate into something more serious without each party knowing how to effectively manage their feelings and emotions.  When conflict is mismanaged, it can harm the relationship, weather personal or professionally. In the workplace, the communication climate, which refers to the social tone of a relationship, may be one to induce conflict among workers and even businesses. When people or businesses do not feel good about one another. It may be  the way they carry out workplace activities or their business practices that causes internal and external struggles. All conflicts look as if one person’s gain would be another’s loss. I know on my job there are several of us who do like a certain supervisor. It is common for all of us to oppose any new project, she implements that will make what we do more efficient. This behavior causes ongoing conflict because of the way we feel about her.

Conflict arises from differences and even in these cases personalities can cause conflict. People general behave in different ways, depending on the type of conflict. Each option leads to a particular combination of outcomes: lose-lose, lose-win, win-lose or win-win (Abigail & Cahn 2007).  I know in a win-win conflict situation, the goal is to find a solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involved. (Adler, Rosenfeld, & Proctor 2007) I know I practically don’t like conflict but if I am in some type of challenge with something or someone. I believe that with my personality I would find it difficult to resolve a conflict without some type of compromise, or as the last result just accommodating that situation or the person just for a quick result.  I personally like to leave a conflict with everyone involved leaving at least getting some satisfaction, but it does not always work out that way. After reading the results that determined that my personality was one of the individualists. It would explain why feeling vulnerable and defective can lead me into the accommodating rather than compromising to resolve a conflict.

Positive and Negative effects of conflicts

According to Robinson (1972) “Not all conflict is bad and not all cooperation is good.”  As people view conflict negatively, it can work out for the good as it does in group or team situations with in the workplace. There can be healthy responses to conflict oppose to unhealthy ones. Although conflicts tend to trigger strong emotions and can often lead to disappointments, hurt feelings and discomfort. It can be a motivated that helps to achieve positive results, improve the quality of. Conflict can be productive in relationships as well as in the workplace. In the workplace, applying the S-TLC, stop, think, listen and then communicate can decrease escalation of the conflict, leading to a more position results, improvement of work quality. It has in proven on my job that conflict resolution can be achieved as a group effort and not just one person demanding results for a task. When everyone gets involved, there are positive results. 

On the other hand, there are some negative consequences that can could result from conflicts and its lack of resolution. Communication and understanding is the key. Individuals or groups that think that their way of thinking and doing things is the only way can cause a negative impact on the other person or the group by excluding their ideas and opinions. It easily means a change in goals without a consensus. In interpersonal relationships, blaming, name calling, in which to escalate to verbal abuse, and even physical abuse without utilizing some conflict resolution skills. One of the most recognizable negative effects of conflict in relationships is ineffective communication technique. When you do know how effectively express your feelings, you won’t be able to resolve conflict. A key factor to think about prior to a confrontation, is what do you plan to achieve? When you don’t think, it only leaves room for disaster in conflict and its resolution. In society, the lack of conflict resolution has resulted in extremely negative outcomes when people result to physical violence without thought of the consequence.  Learning how to communicate in conflict situation can turn a negative into a positive one. In the text, using I-statements when communicating is one of the last sets of skills that were studied. Effectively communicating your desires in the way you communicate during a conflict will also affect the other person.                                                                                   

Abigail & Cahn (2007) demonstrate in the text that it is the most important skill in conflict, is the ability to use assertive-I-statements that personalize the conflict by owning up to your feelings rather than playing the “blame game”. Elizabeth Scott (2009) emphasizes that conflict in relationships is inevitable. However, poorly handled conflict can have a heavy negative impact on your relationships and other areas of your life. The goal is to learn about the negative toll of conflict and find resources for healthy conflict resolution. I believe that unresolved conflicts can break any relationship; it would be wise to understand how to better communicate your wants and needs effectively. Behaving in and non-assertive I would rather avoid conflict all together. It seems as though I take to passive type and not say anything until it’s to late and I explode, causing even more conflict. Its not until I calm down and use some of those I- statements to express my feelings.  It is common that these things do happen in relationships before there is resolution.

Roles of Personality types in conflict resolution

After reading the results that determined that personality was one of the “individualists. It would explain why feeling vulnerable and defective can lead me into the accommodating rather than compromising to resolve a conflict.  My personality type communicates assertively.  According to the text, assertive people are effective listeners, which determines how deeply the other feels about an issue and restate the other’s feeling in their own words. (Abigail & Cahn p.55) That is definitely my approach when it comes to communicating through the conflict process. I am normally concerned with everyone else, feeling before my own; that is why I used accommodating as the most desired communication option.  
                                                                                                            
After reading further it is clear that collaboration (win-win) would be the best option in conflict resolution. Dr. Tyrone Holmes (2001) states that, “a person should collaborate when you need to gain the commitment and cooperation of others, when both viewpoints are too important to be compromised, when the goal is to assess one’s own viewpoints and/or better understand the perspectives of others, and when you can more effectively solve a problem by merging insights from people with different perspectives.  Keep in mind that these circumstances apply to the vast majority of conflicts”.  It would be unrealistic to believe that the concerns of others in conflict situations would be as important as your own. It seems to me that can only be successful if the goals are the same. 
                                                                                                                                                             
It is part of conflict without any resolution, when one person or group does not share in the same goals or they perceive a different outcome. I believe that there is going to be some lose-lose conflict situations.  For someone like myself, who does not like conflict and if it can be avoided, I would. I sure that walking away without understanding, it is doomed to continue. Avoidance may be effective when the conflict does not need an immediate resolution (T. Holmes. 2001). If the conflict does indeed need an immediate resolution and one would prefer to avoid the resolution to the conflict. A third party may need to become involve, such as a mediator. Sometimes when you are dealing with difficult people rather in a relationship or professionally, it may be best not to engage in discussion that may fuel even more conflict.

Conflict Management

The term conflict management refers to the long-term management of intractable conflicts. It labels several ways to handle conflict by addressing differences of opinions and/or ideals. When you want to solve a problem, it’s good to be assertive, but there are other reasons for managing conflicts. Sometimes learning how to listen can be effective in managing conflict. I know on my job I have what is called, “one call resolution”. When you speaking with a customer over the phone that has a conflict with the company, my job is to resolve the problem. Most times I can easily resolve the customer’s issue. As one author explains, “Communication is the key to managing conflict.” 

In the end, as we look at conflict. What conflict is, and why it occurs. Some of which have negative outcomes and some positive and life long rewards, through their conflict resolutions. We can conclude that whenever people come into contact with one another, whether in relationships or in the workplace. Conflict does and always will exist. 

                                                             
                                                   

Adler, Rosenfeld, and Proctor (2007). Interplay -The Process Of Interpersonal Communications

Sypher, B.D.& Sypher, H.E (1983). Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin

Kolb, J.A. (1998). Journal of Business Communications

Trenholm, S (2008). Thinking Though Communication: An Introduction to the Study of Human Communication. 5^th Edition. Boston: Pearson Education

Jack, J & Bastedo, G (2010). ‘Safe to Say’, speaks volumes. Communication World.

ABI Inform Global (Document ID: 1990008981

Hurd, G (2007). Communication is Key. Total Health. Retrieved

From ProQuest Science Journals.

Phred, D (2007). Theory & Practice: How Understanding the ‘Why’ of Decisions Matters; 

Employees More Like to Embrace Changes When Fully Informed. Wall Street Journal (Eastern Edition), p.3

Flynn, M. “Language.” World Book Advanced.”   World Book, (2010). Web. 5                                    

How to Run a Successful Meeting

             Running a successful meeting in any organization is the result of achieving all the meeting’s objectives.  Although there are a variety of reasons to hold meetings, team leaders and meeting facilitators conducting a successful meeting should leave with a feeling of accomplishment.  This report will provide information that describes some methods involved in running successful meetings that establish meeting objectives. What is the general perception here regarding the importance of successful meeting? 

What is the definition of a meeting?

            It is the act or process that describes an instance where groups of people come together for discussion. These formal or informal assembles are called to discuss issues, debate, and make decisions. However, a successful meeting achieves objectives that satisfy the participants in a short time (Roebuck, 2006). There are many reasons and purposes for calling the staff to a meeting, but a plan and strategy must be in place. Whether you are meeting to develop ideas, elicit information, make plans, or make decisions, conducting successful meeting must be the key in your efforts.

Meetings conducted within the last 30 days – Successful or not?

            The graph below show results from an opinion poll conducted. How successful was your last meeting?  Poll indicated meetings were productive.  Despite the bad rap that meetings are unproductive, a good meeting can increase the company’s morale.

Methods of conducting meetings

            Be cautious with time. Too often meeting is held longer than necessary. A successful meeting takes planning ahead. Having the purpose of the meeting establish with the participants is crucial.                                                                                                                                    

            A meeting without expressed purpose can create tension among the participants. Be aware of previous circumstances prior to the call for this meeting. A clear understanding of meeting objectives is essential to an effective meeting. If participations know with to expect that will make an easier transition into achieving the objectives.  Once that is established move on the agenda, the attendees, place and more importantly, the time permitted. If there is some review, begin and resolve and move to the new issue and/or issue. Remember to STOP. Evaluate the progress made toward achieving the objectives of the meeting.

Guidelines to follow as a conductor/facilitator in a meeting

·                               Be on time.

·                               Follow the agenda.

·                               Communicate the objectives.

·                               Ask for attention.

·                               Move quickly to allow for discussion

·                               Encourage people to participate- Diverse opinions

·                               Control excessive discussion to avoid “group think” (Roebuck, 2006)

·                               Utilize listening skills

·                               Review meeting outcomes.

·                               End On Time

Successful meeting theories

           

            In meeting the goal conducting and/or facilitating a successful meeting; no what the problem is or the information that is needed to be discussed, instead of going directly to the solution. Get as much information for the attendees as you can. Quality professionals call this getting to the root cause through analysis.  Some conflict is good, if it does not become personal. One does not want to leave any meeting feeling intimidated. The best meetings have debate and involve conflict resolution.  The general ideal of the role of the facilitator is to lead by encouraging people to express their ideals and opinions when the meeting’s objective is clear. It is true that a meeting needs a leader, no matter how insignificant it seems.

Successful meeting outcomes

            As the conductor, the job is complete when the meeting has achieved the expected outcome. The plans were made, the participants were present, the agenda was followed, the meeting ended on time, and the objectives were accomplished (Timm, P. 1997).

Review

Elements of successful meetings

·                               State the specific purpose

·                               Confirm allotted time for meeting

·                               Review existing or establish new agenda

·                               Set meeting priorities and topic times.

·                               Determine that your role is to be a leader

Conclusion

            Successful meetings require time, committee, and the ongoing development listening skills in order to meet organizational objectives. In business facilitators should conduct meeting that not just leave them with a feeling of accomplishment but knowing that a successful meeting changes the participant’s perception as well.

Suggestion for Company Staff Opinion Poll

            To survey how many participants use the agenda to follow the meeting or do they just listen and discuss ideals and share opinions regardless of the objective. Are meetings better organized with a conductor?

            

References:

 Roebuck, D.B. (2006).  Improving business communications skills (4th Ed.). Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson Prentice Hall.

Farivar, C., (2007). CBS Money Watch. How to run an effective meeting. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505125_162-51061211/how-to-run-an-effective-meeting

Timm, P.R., (1997). Business Meetings. How to hold successful meetings: 30 action tips for managing effective meetings. Career Press (Franklin Lakes, NJ)

Francisco, J.M., (2007).  Information Management Journal. How to create and facilitate meetings that matter. Learn how to plan and run a successful meeting using crucial checklist. Information. Bridgepoint effect.com/

          

My Communicating Skills

            While there are successes and failures with interacting with family, friends and co-workers, the overall development of interpersonal, group, and organizational skills are essential part of effective communication today. My techniques in communication have improved as a result of identifying the meaning of the terms and incorporating those techniques in my everyday communications with people. Communication is transactional, inevitable, purposeful, irreversible and unrepeatable.

            The developments of communication skills are integral for any relationship that is formed. First, there is spoken language.  Orwell’s novel illustrates that “we think through language, and using this language gives us the power of persuasion and effectiveness over other as well as ourselves.” Language is also the ability to understand and create unusual sentences that show that the learning is a matter of trail and error.”(Trenholm, 2008,p.75) Language communication skills are integral for any relationship that is formed. “Language is the ability to understand and create unusual sentences that show that language learning is a matter of trail and error.”  Trenholm, S (2008) p 75.  The use of language is one of the most important human abilities. (Flynn).

            Our language is based on how we see the world and the knowledge that we have of the world. I have always thought of myself to have good language skills based on my perceptions. I learned studying communications that that my language is made up by it own set of symbols. . So, it is also true that language in general has its own set of rules and symbols.                                                

Sapir-Whorf Theory determined that your language determines how you’re thinking. I found that to be a true statement in my own experience.  If language does control our thinking, we are at its mercy. I can choose the wrong choice of words causing havoc all around me.  I’ve learned that spoken language does not have a lot to do with what you say. It is how you say it. Have always thought of myself to have good language skills utilizing my vocabulary to its full potential. I realize not everyone follows the same rules in language. People attach different meanings to words, I believe just because I think different from someone else, makes the language I use different as well. I believe though language it shapes how I view the world. It has always been important to me to use correct the vocabulary in when talking with others, and I have admired that skill in others when I hear them speak. 


             In the text, “ Communication is a process of acting on information. “(Trenholm, S 2008 p. 21). According to the International Listening Association, listening is the process of receiving constructing meaning from responding to spoken messages. Even through my aptitude for conversation and listening skills have improved, there is stillroom for much more development in that area. I have now more in touch with the customer service aspect of my job. Just by listening, I have been able to assist the customers in a timelier manner. There are several ways to improve your listening skills by evaluating the messages. Another part of learning how to listen is seeing things from the sender perspective (Trenholm, 2008 p. 48). I also found it helpful to write thing down.   It’s no surprise that self monitoring general increases one’s effectiveness as a communicator” (Kolb, 1998; Sphere & Sypher, 1983).           

            When I first meet a stranger, let me say that I am a very quiet person, not because I want to be, it just who I am as a person. I can easily disappear in a crowd but will communicate face to face with another person. I normally wait for the other person to be more of aggressive communicator than myself.  In the text, it describes how we form dyads to maintain self esteem, comfort and support.  
                 

            “Dyadic interaction is more immediate than other forms of communication because the quality of feedback is high.”  (Trenholm, 2008,).  These relationships help us to cope with life on life’s’ terms.  In my own experience, I found that statement to be true. Dyads do allow us to maintain stable views of ourselves over time (Trenholm, 2008,). Normally, when I meet a stranger I only become comfortable after I find they are things we have in common. In my list of Personal Constructs, I tend to choose people that display honesty, integrity, and self-confidence. I judge them based on my own set of personal values. The more comfortable I am with someone, the easily it is for me to open up and disclose more about myself, which later develops into more than just a casual acquaintance. I choose friends based on my own comparison. Using Charles Horton Cooley’s metaphor  “looking–glass self.

How I communicate does change when it involves intimacy in my relationship with another. According to Knapp’s Relational Development Model, there are stages you go though in relationships. The first is the initiating stage. I remember when I met my husband; he was talking about his children with some other people. I approached him and asked how was his children were doing? He replied, “They are just fine”, thanks for asking.        
                                        

I was interested in him from the first time I saw him and was determined to make some type of contact. We moved directly into the experimenting stage where we determined after conversion, how much we had in common with each other. The communication eventually changed dramatically when we begin to disclose more about each other, and experienced getting to know one another enough to feel a sense of security.                                                                        

Interpersonal communication it involves intimacy. Two people interacting based on mutual attraction towards each other. Being the shy one, I felt more of a challenge than he did in the relationship. I did feel the need at the time to share everything about myself even though he did.  Our relationship and how we communicated did change after some time passed.


                                         
 Dialectical tensions exist in all relationships, both with good friends and intimate partners. Conflict in a relationship is inevitable, but it’s all in the way the conflict is handled. Sometimes in error poor communication skills are displayed causing disagreements and misunderstanding.  What happens even meeting a stranger for the first time and having a conversation either business or personal?   While and initial conversation is taking place, both people can realize easily that they have nothing in common with the other person. This causes relational tensions between the two people. 


                                                                                                           
 In intimate relationships, one can be more open and willing to disclose details about themselves, while the other can refrain from opening up at all. I believe the ways to resolve a dialectical tension especially with someone intimate is to find a balance within the relationship. People are never resolve the dialectical tension will some go into the coming apart stage of the relationship. In my own experience, I ceased all communication with the other person causes the relationship eventually terminating the relationship.

Every group has its own unique way of communicating. There are a number of characteristics that shape the way I am in my family. There way that one family member behaves will sometimes effect the entire family. We all are territorial in our own way. That has been the norm within our family since I can remember. Everyone knows that you never come to visit unannounced.   Even in childhood, my sister’s room was off limits and so was mind. I guess that means I have a small space bubble.  Some of the experiences in my family helped shape the way I communicate with other today. At home, my role is household budgeter. In the work place, it is office assistant sitting comfortably in my small cubicle, and for some other that drives them crazy.

An organization consist of a large number a people working together to accomplish multiple goals. (Trenholm, 2008, p.215). The organization that I work for is just that, people working together to provide a service to the public and the number #1 goal is customer satisfaction. The organization flows in a hierarchical structure. There are high positions, but the goal is the same. My role is complete subordination. There are times that management recruits the employees are part of the decision making process. There is a structure chain of command within the organization. In some case a command chain is not possible (Pared, D. 2007,)  

 After completing my work content list, there are several personal attributes that I give to the organization daily to accomplish it overall goal. Several of my skills were developed over time in the organization. From speech presentations during a group meeting to professionally answering calls from customers. The goal is still the same, customer satisfaction.  Just like in families, my behavior affects the next person in the organization. Even though the organization that I work for is hierarchical structured, we have an open door policy meaning "we can say what we feel".                                                                                                                                                 

The overall effectiveness of communication in today’s society does not mean that you can complete a test or course in communication and gain all the knowledge and skills that are necessary for communication competence. The work that is in progress is to gain self-awareness thru trail and error of those social and personal rules involving communication as an ongoing development of those skills.

References

Adler, Rosenfeld, and Proctor (2007). Interplay -The Process Of Interpersonal Communications

Sypher, B.D.& Sypher, H.E (1983). Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin

Kolb, J.A. (1998). Journal of Business Communications

Trenholm, S (2008). Thinking Though Communication: An Introduction to the Study of Human Communication. 5^th Edition. Boston: Pearson Education

Jack, J & Bastedo, G (2010). ‘Safe to Say’, speaks volumes. Communication World.

ABI Inform Global (Document ID: 1990008981

Hurd, G (2007). Communication is Key. Total Health. Retrieved

From ProQuest Science Journals.

Phred, D (2007). Theory & Practice: How Understanding the ‘Why’ of Decisions Matters; 

Employees More Like to Embrace Changes When Fully Informed. Wall Street Journal (Eastern Edition), p.3

Flynn, M. “Language.” World Book Advanced.”   World Book, (2010). Web. 5                        

             

           

        

The Art of Listening as a Communicating Technique

Although communication is an important part of our daily lives, it is vital in the health care industry that effective communication between the provider and the patient is established in order for the relationship to be successful. Failure to communicate effectively using therapeutic techniques can cause high risk of providing poor health care to the patient.

Listening techniques are natural and realistic but it will take some time to be become skillful. In the health care setting the communication technique such as the quality of listening provides both therapeutic value in the patient and the provider.

What is the Art of Listening in Communication?

 As the art of listening can be defined as becoming a listening presences in others, it also a way of opening people up to knowledge and understanding. In the health care profession there should certain qualities and attributes one should process. Professional tones of voice, along with professional manners skills are important.   

 However, what is often overlooked and is considered the most important is the art of listening. As listening demonstrates and interest in what the patient is saying it also provides assurance in the capabilities of the provider to the patient. A patient may feel a sense of ease after a pleasant exchange of communication between the provider and the patient.                                    

The first person listens and the second person responds or continues to listen. The quality of our listening can make difference in any conversation it can control perception and filter out curiosities in one another. Kay Lindahl (2003), shares that “when we understand the power of sacred listening, we become aware that it is a key to communication in our global community”. The therapeutic of one helping someone else through engaging in listening increases each individual freedom to express themselves resulting in far more that could ever be imagined.

Values of active listening

 Listening is part of who we are and what are to become. Active listening is a technique that is familiar in health care setting (Van Servellen, 2009).  There are many barriers that can affect listening skills in the settings. Language barriers that are present many cases may challenge the health care provider.  This barrier can affect the provider and patient relationship.

 In using listening skills as a technique the health care professional practices listening with empathy. Another example would be lack of trust, but over time and with the use of therapeutic communication skills, the patient’s trust can be built. 

 When the health care provider is using these techniques to build on therapeutic value that an individual can get from helping another brings a change or in conflict a resolution. There is a perception made by the provider that the patient will disclose even more to the not only help provider but the patient. True listening skills are developed over time and the art of listening is not a declaring that every problem or situation will be resolved rather by using art of listening as a therapeutic method focuses the attention on the words and the non verbal communication of the patient in order to walk with them in the process of healing.

What is empathy Listening?

  According to the dictionary, Empathy is defined by the ability of an individual to understand another’s situation, feelings, and motives. In other words, being moved by another’s person’s circumstances. In the health care setting it is believed that the patient wants the provider to practice empathy. To have to ability to be moved by someone’s experience or circumstances will increase the leaning and validate with the patient is feeling.

Empathy listening is often spoken of as a character attribute that people have to varying degrees. The role of listening with empathy means that there is an acknowledgement and a mutual understanding between individuals. One important characteristic of empathy listening is the ability to listen so others will talk. Be receptive to other person communication towards you.            

 Using listening as a therapeutic technique the patient is heard in a non-judgmental way. It allow for the patient to actively participant in his or her own health care (Banar, M., 2001). When an individual feels as though they are being understood without judgment an emotional burden can be lifted, stress deceases, and clarity increased. Listening to comfort someone who is going through sadness or grief are approached through empathy listening (Miller, J., 2003).  The provider in the therapeutic setting with the patient will provide exactly what is necessary for the patient without feeling any regret, or difficult emotions.

 However, using the art of listening as a way to sympathize with someone takes on an entirely different meaning.  In the health care setting the provider uses art of listening emphatically. Whereas, when you sympathize with someone, you have feelings for that person or situation, but you don’t necessarily feel her feelings. Sympathy can also take the form of support or allegiance with respect to a condition or cause, but not in any type of individualized comparison to the actual event. Although there is sense of concern as well compassion, you are not putting yourself in their place.

Techniques in Therapeutic Listening

Therapeutic listening in a valuable tool in communicating: it builds trust along with provider rapport with the patient  (Rosenberg, S, 2011).  Therapeutic Listening utilizes other areas in describing the full scope of the art of listening. Rather than making any type of assumptions, the provider, however facilitates by listening with therapeutic expression. Techniques that help in specifying some other event could include the patient engaging in daily activities and other therapeutic activities for some analyses purpose. These might include if the provider want to help the patient identify with some situation that is not easily discussed by the patient.  These types of programs include listening for reflection, which consist of a deeper understanding of what is going on with the patient.  This technique of Listening for reflection helps not only the provider but also the patient.  Reflective listening is often used when you are trying the deal with a situation. When the provider through listening uses this technique it helps the patient gain their own insight and clarify their own thoughts in regards to the situation from their situation.

 Consequently, the patient grows by accesses their problem solving skills that is found somewhere all of us. Some of the common principles in using this therapeutic technique are (1) do more listening than talking; (2) respond to what the patient is saying and restate with clarity so the person will that provider is listening (Rosenberg, S, 2008). This will help the patient gain trust, as he is motivated to keep talking. This are all positive patterns of listening provide successful outcomes in using the art of listening as therapeutic technique.

 Although the provider wants positive from the patient through with these therapeutic techniques, it can become challenge when the provided uses negative approaches to communicate with the patient. Not listening to the patient’s concerns, making assumptions about the patient problem, and more importantly are talking more than the patient about their situation. These are all approaches that should not be used as a technique.                                                            

 Most patients become agitated and, “guess what?” no problem never the patient or the provider benefited from that encounter.  As Dr. Linda Lee (2009) states in her article, “In listening to our patient, we learn invaluable lessons from those making their journey ahead of us.”  Failure a apply techniques as part of listening   could cause poor relations with the patient and just infuse a negative outcome in the process of establishing trust in the patient as well as with the provider. The art of listening as a therapeutic technique, employs the not only skills of the provider but the actions of the patient over time.

Reference:

Van Servellen, Gwen (2009). Communication Skills for the Health Care Professional: Concepts, Practice, and Evidence (2^nd ed). Sudbury, Massachusetts: Jones and Bartlett.

Miller, James E. (2003). The Art of Listening in a Healing Way.  Fort Wayne, Indiana: Willowgreen Publishing.

Kasperek, L. (1997). Clinical. Non-verbal communication: The importance of Listening. British Journal of Nursing. Mar. 13-26, 6(5), 275-9

Lee, Linda, L.W. (2009). On Listening: The left atrium. Canadian Medical Association Journal.  179 (6) 562-563

Rosenberg, S. (2008). Therapeutic communication in the clinical setting: Natural and applied sciences. Retrieved April 20, 2012 http://ctl.laguardia.edu/journal/v3/pdf/Rosenberg.pdf

Banar, M. (2011).  Communication Techniques. The Importance of therapeutic communication in healthcare. Retrieved from http://www.livestrong.com/article/525095-the-importance-of-therapeutic-communication-in-healthcare

An Interview with Mr. Fred Allen Sr.

      

An Interview with Fred Lee Allen Sr.

The subject that will be interviewed is Mr. Fred Lee Allen Sr. I chose to interview him because of his age and his life experiences being an African American man, who grew up during the late 1930’s in Tuscaloosa Alabama. Fred Allen, now at the great age of seventy-nine will share his childhood story with his me. He is one of most influential men that I know in my life. He is my Father. Fred is the second to the oldest of thirteen children.  In his culture not being educated was the norm.

  As a child working in the fields, it was the only work that was available for a young black man in those days, plus he was a member of a large poor family. Though there were many cultural influences and differences, he stayed true to what he believed. I asked my Dad just how far back could he remember about some things that happened to him growing up in the South. One of the first things he said was that, “Kids grew up faster in those days than they do today.”

 On the contrary, I would have thought differently because of way kids behave in this new age of technology. But no, he insisted that kids grew up faster because they had too. We can have no direct knowledge of any other culture other than our own. During that period of time Dad’s perception in his culture viewed the role of his peers as growing up before there time.  Tajfel  (1969) & Triandis (1964) says that, “Culture has a much greater effect on the perception process than on sensation itself.” 

Human perception is a three step process of selection, organization, and interpretation which all are affected by culture (Jandt, 2007). Being the second child to the oldest of thirteen, Dad primarily worked in the fields, rarely going to school. What I thought was quite different was that his Dad, Joe only allowed him to go to school when the weather was bad, and if weather was good he had to work in the fields. In society today it is quite different. Normally, when their inclement weather, kids stay home and allowed make up days, whereas in his sub-culture, it was the opposite. I’m sure this wasn’t the case for all children in the early 1940’s, but for my dad it was a way of life. Through definition, a subculture is part of the whole.  In the Deep South where dad grew up, school was not a high priority for any of the kids even his very own younger siblings didn’t attend school.   
                                                          

Their only means of travel besides walking was a horse and buggy that only his Father could use, while other members of society had long traveled by car.  Motor vehicles were in existence but not for some people. Highly influenced by listening to the radio my Dad could only dream of having those things. At the age of 12 years old he started walking to Church every Sunday with his Mom. That became a family ritual for him and his mother. His father didn’t make the other kids go just because grandma and Dad went, but my dad went faithfully. He said to me, “I have always wanted to know about the Lord.” I believe at some point Dad and Grandmother must have started some type of ritual, attending church together every Sunday as Mother and son.

Jandt (2010) describes rituals as a socially essential collective activity within a culture. He then shared with me his dream as a child of completing high school. I didn’t realize that my Dad dreamed of the day he could go to school full time and graduate. I asked him what did could remember about being part of a subgroup or ethnicity? Being of African decent, my Dad shared his feelings on the injustice and inequalities that African American’s in the South opposed during that time.

As the dominant culture during that time, subcultures within ethnic groups were subjected to the foundations of social norms within that society, (Jandt, 2010). My Dad said,  “I was teased and treated unfairly many times because I was Black,” People even in my own race made judgments about me based on how I looked or just for the darker color of my skin. They even called me “colored boy”, my Dad said. The term stereotype is the broader term commonly used to refer to negative or positive judgments made about individuals based on any believed membership of a group of people (Jandt, 2007). I believe that this affected how Dad generally communicated with people outside of his own race and his comfort zone.

In the text there is a quote by Gordon Allport, The nature of Prejudice (1954) that states, “The easiest idea to sell anyone is that he is better than someone else.” The term, “White Privilege” Jandt describes in the text from McIntosh, how a dominant culture empowers some: I believe that is intercultural communication became a disadvantage for subcultures through increased prejudice. Dad felt just that way. Being a part of a subculture group of people who were treated differently just because of the color of their skin and their beliefs in American culture in the early 1940’s.

 Oh, course history has shown that this dominance started long before the early 40’s. What my dad thought about these injustices that created the barriers in intercultural communication. He then said, “As a little boy when we did get the chance to go to school, we had to walk for miles and were not allowed to walk past the White school just down the road. We had to go on the other side of the road. He said, “The White kids would throw things and call us names.” In those days things were different than they are today in our society. We had to speak only when spoken too.   

                                                       

  The only comment we could make were Yes, Sir, or Yes, Mama.  That would be the just of the communication between the two races.  There were barriers in communicating with the dominant culture. In the South it was the norm to speak with the language of Southerners.  

 The lack of education for African Americans created more of a barrier in intercultural communication among the dominant culture.  I learned through my interview with my dad how school was not a high priority with his Dad, just working in the fields. I also learned that even when he got the chance to go to school the resources for educating Black kids were limited.      

                                                                              

 Interpersonal communication can be defined as unique, irreplaceable, interdependent, and intrinsically rewarding. (Adler, Rosenfeld & Proctor (2007).  He ran into several challenges learning how to develop interpersonal relationships with others. He did have support from people he never would have though would be supportive. The society was changing and there were major influences that changed his views about his culture and race relations.  One of the first of societies greatest impact in my Dad culture was the radio. Radio influenced his ideas about the whole around him. We wanted to learn and acquired the things that were advertised on the radio. He shared that music impacted him to learn about other subcultures.  


Typically, African American family’s norm during the start of the twentieth century lived and worked on a farm in the South, did not own their homes, and was unlikely to have there children in school (Maloney 2010). That was the cultural norm for African Americans during that time. “As a family we grew our own fruits and vegetables, raised our chickens and goats”, he said. We only went to the store for cornmeal to make bread. We could not go into a White establishment without a good reason, he said.  That was my dad’s only knowledge of how to effectively communicate with in his culture. Just do what you are told. They did things on there own within their culture and developed their way of communicating with each other. Sometimes emulating what someone else heard became his normal way of life. In one way being stereotyped because of the color of his skin and the way they other expected you to behave developed into yet another barrier between the races in this dominant culture.    

 Being in the church, he enjoyed the Negro spiritual hymns. Those words brought life to what he could not write or speak for himself. It was like a new language that he could understand and bring him even closer to his creator.   He stated, “listening to those hymns gave me comfort in time were I may have been discouraged.” Some of these values that my dad had growing up in such a difficult time are values that I hold with me today. We share the same belief, practice the same religion, participate in the same rituals and very are very of who I am as a result of watching my Dad build his life after growing up in the South.    

                                                                                                                    

When I asked him how he felt about his life today compared to the days past, he says, “I am grateful to have worked in the fields with my Dad, found refuge with my Mother that she allowed me to develop in my walk with God, and peace with who I am. Today, life is different. I didn’t much about the South and the communications that my dad experienced growing up. He moved to the North before I was born, working for his family, going to school to get his high school diploma, which is very proud of. In our society today things have changed while some things remain the same. For my Father, school was now a priority instead something he could only dream about.

Laws that protect the rights of all people have changed the course of this country.  For my Dad, education was the key to breaking some of those intercultural communication barriers. Dad has always desire to live right and do right and to be respectful of others.  I believe that we both know the value of learning about your past will have impact on your future. As African American and growing up in a different cultural time than my father has through education allowed him to communicate effectively with people within other cultures.

                                                             References


 Jandt, F.E. (2010). An introduction to intercultural communication: Identities in a global community (6^th ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. (ISBN: 9781412970105)

Adler, R.B., Rosenfeld, L.B., & Proctor, R.F., (2007). Interplay. The process of interpersonal communication (10^th ed.) Oxford, NY: Oxford University

Lalwani, P. (2010). Ethnicity verses race. Retrieved from                                                            

   http: www.buzzle.com/articles/ethicity-vs-race.html

Maloney, T.N. (2010). African americans in the twentieth century. Retrieved from http://eh.net/encyclopedia/article/maloney.african.american

Gataullina, L. (2008). Stereotypes in the media. Retrieved from http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/local/scisoc/sports03/papers/lgatavllina.html